Wednesday, April 18, 2007
today only went for 2hours de lecture and off i went home.. didnt tend booth as melvina said that quite a number of people staying there le.. so i went home loh.. nothing much to do at home.. jazz called at 5plus asking me whether i would like to meet her up at causeway point.. thinking nothing to do so i agreed.. so meeting her at 6plus at causeway point.. seeing her so happy i felt happy for her too.. all her mind now is her bf lah.. stupid ger.. never leave one space for me.. oopss.. better dont let her see this.. haha..
out of the sudden.. i am feeling a little bit of pain.. i see the hurt in someone and i see the pain in someone.. i have no ideas what i should do so i remain silent.. but silent makes the heart more pain and hurting.. i feel it.. things dont happen to me but i feel the pain and hurt.. dont you find it weird?? as what others said i am a ger who is totally easy influence by frenz and i definitely agree.. i dont understand why am i like that.. i cried together with my frenz when they are feeling down.. i smile and laugh with them when they are happy.. it seems like i dont have my own feeling.. haish..
her entry at her blog totally make me cry.. i see how sad she was but she need to be strong.. i see how her lurv for him and how hard it is for her to let go.. i told her what i feel but it seems like i will eventually hurt her.. her feeling is what i cant feel.. what i do is i can only see and pretend to feel.. i never been in her shoes before.. so i cant comment anything.. she never been in my shoes before so she also cant comment anything.. i always thought that i am the one always feeling hurt and pain.. but now i noe i am not.. those who got into the relationship and ended up breaking up are far more hurting and feeling pain than me.. i noe i am cruel.. i noe i am stupid.. i always thought i am the most foolish person but i realised there are people who are far more foolish.. i am not commenting on her but myself.. people always think the way others dont think.. how to make others dont think the other way?? arghz!! haish..
just the third day of school reopen.. and i am encountering so much.. i told myself i must make it through with all my frenz.. but can i really do that?? i dont noe.. basically now i have no one to fall on.. people are all busy and i dont noe how to speak it out.. my life is always fearful and stupid.. i am tired.. my nights are all sleepless.. many things alway make me wonder and thus leading to me unable to get to sleep.. haish.. i noe certain things are not my problems.. but i have to sort it out.. i am not trying to be so wei da.. i just want to make things work and make it seems sensible.. but i think i cant do it.. =(
i guess is time for me to slowly let go those bothering things.. i have lot of things to handle myself.. haish.. the feeling is slowly finding the way back.. i need some support too.. i am grateful for those who stay by my side with me always.. i am looking forward!! i need a life of myself.. i need to be brave and strong.. i need to learn to grow.. i am 19 years old this year.. i am old enough to learn.. treat everything as a learning lesson and remember only the happy moments.. forget about the unhappiness and you will smile.. am i right??
out of the sudden.. i am feeling a little bit of pain.. i see the hurt in someone and i see the pain in someone.. i have no ideas what i should do so i remain silent.. but silent makes the heart more pain and hurting.. i feel it.. things dont happen to me but i feel the pain and hurt.. dont you find it weird?? as what others said i am a ger who is totally easy influence by frenz and i definitely agree.. i dont understand why am i like that.. i cried together with my frenz when they are feeling down.. i smile and laugh with them when they are happy.. it seems like i dont have my own feeling.. haish..
her entry at her blog totally make me cry.. i see how sad she was but she need to be strong.. i see how her lurv for him and how hard it is for her to let go.. i told her what i feel but it seems like i will eventually hurt her.. her feeling is what i cant feel.. what i do is i can only see and pretend to feel.. i never been in her shoes before.. so i cant comment anything.. she never been in my shoes before so she also cant comment anything.. i always thought that i am the one always feeling hurt and pain.. but now i noe i am not.. those who got into the relationship and ended up breaking up are far more hurting and feeling pain than me.. i noe i am cruel.. i noe i am stupid.. i always thought i am the most foolish person but i realised there are people who are far more foolish.. i am not commenting on her but myself.. people always think the way others dont think.. how to make others dont think the other way?? arghz!! haish..
just the third day of school reopen.. and i am encountering so much.. i told myself i must make it through with all my frenz.. but can i really do that?? i dont noe.. basically now i have no one to fall on.. people are all busy and i dont noe how to speak it out.. my life is always fearful and stupid.. i am tired.. my nights are all sleepless.. many things alway make me wonder and thus leading to me unable to get to sleep.. haish.. i noe certain things are not my problems.. but i have to sort it out.. i am not trying to be so wei da.. i just want to make things work and make it seems sensible.. but i think i cant do it.. =(
i guess is time for me to slowly let go those bothering things.. i have lot of things to handle myself.. haish.. the feeling is slowly finding the way back.. i need some support too.. i am grateful for those who stay by my side with me always.. i am looking forward!! i need a life of myself.. i need to be brave and strong.. i need to learn to grow.. i am 19 years old this year.. i am old enough to learn.. treat everything as a learning lesson and remember only the happy moments.. forget about the unhappiness and you will smile.. am i right??
i shall wish upon the star and hope my frenz are fine and living well~
we leave a mark @ 8:41 PM.
