today is the start of my year 2 attachment.. wah scary lah.. late night i couldnt really sleep.. i noe that it rain last night.. i was awoken by those ti ta ti ta sound and couldnt fall back to sleep.. initially wanted to get online and to make myself tired.. but i didnt.. i continued to lie on my bed and turn around.. but hengz i got back to sleep after awhile.. =)) i had weird weird de dreamz again.. haha.. it destroyed my whole peaceful night..

woke up early early.. but didi very early jiu come knocking in as i forgot to tell mummy i got attachment today as in no need so early wake up.. stupid me~ nah anyway i got to my centre on time and the teachers actually got a shock that it is actually me for today attachment.. haha.. they are nice people kays.. and my mentor is also nice.. she very very good neh.. she told me if i need anything for my lesson just tell her she will help me prepare.. aww~~ isnt that good?? i really lurv those teachers over there.. my previous mentor also very nice.. i concluded they are nice people.. haha.. then had fun with the kids again.. aww~ so sweet kays they actually remember me.. everyone kays!! nursery k1 and k2.. haha.. i am taking over k1 class so i need to start preparing lesson for k1.. wah stress sia.. i pa pa.. =(( mentor said that she will help me along.. =)) sweet~~

after attachment jiu go BPP to meet eileen for lunch.. we had curry chicken noodles.. wah damn big bowl can.. both of us cant finish.. last week also same.. then eat until so full.. then i skipped away my bubbles tea today.. haha.. eileen went back to school to buy and drink.. hoho.. CD2.1 lecture is always fun and entertaining.. learning theories no longer become boring and tiring.. cause we can listen to lovely songs.. we had that today again.. we eventually went to or lecturer to ask where she bought those CD but she bought it oversea.. ahh!! singapore doesnt sell those.. quite upset cause those songs are nice kays.. how i wish i return to childhood and listen to those when i was young.. haha.. and CD2.1 lecture always go pass so fast until i dont even notice the time.. haha and then lecture ended.. haha.. straight away ju went home..

i went funfair today!! i went with mummy.. steven uncle.. godma.. and my 2 lovely godsis.. haha.. we had fun kays!! we went to eat dinner at 888 plaza first and i saw my secondary school teacher.. mdm mattews.. she is with her husband and son.. gosh can you imagine she actually asked whether aileen is my child.. hello~ do i look like i am able to give birth to such a big child?!?! crazy de leh.. =.= nevermind steven uncle drove us to causeway point after that.. then we went funfair!! wah so fun lah but it is scary too.. we walked one round thinking that we wouldnt be able to take any ride cause it far too expensive.. but steven uncle gave us $20 to but the tokens.. and aileen went to take a small car ride.. then annabelle was hoping to sit the sky ride which she always sit when she went genting.. it look scary kays!! people flying so high sitting down.. oh gosh.. i forget to take pictures if not jiu can show.. hmm.. but i persuaded her to sit the mini rollar coaster.. and she is scared!! she screamed when the train go down fast.. hello is like she not scared of the sky ride lah.. later she finally persuaded her daddy to let her play sky ride and steven uncle kept asking me to go play with her.. gosh i will die kays.. so she bravely went to play alone.. didnt shout nor cry.. she sit before kays!! she can go up to 10 times continously when she was at genting.. haha.. i promise to take with her when we go genting this coming june.. provided i am able to go with them lah.. haha.. then after that we went for the mini "washing machine" and she screamed like hell.. i was laughing like mad lah.. =.- i seems bad.. haha.. but it was fun!! one not fun is I KNOCK ONTO MY HEAD!!! arghz.. i didnt realise that they will be a side pillar at the seat there.. i nearly cried when i hit dao lah.. gosh.. i "ren" kays!! then now got ba lu gu!! ahhhh~

only managed to take one picture with my bell bell darling.. haha.. before the mini rollar coaster start moving.. she seems so bu zhi ran kays!! =))

ah dont noe what is happening lah.. i am getting damn clumsy nowadays man.. oh gosh.. so stupid.. i "kep" dao my hands when i was closing the door.. then i also "kep" dao my hands with i was pressing the shampoo.. wah i can get more clumsy than this.. things isnt right for me anyway..

ahhh!! how come i dont sense anything one.. i feel soo insecure.. no one there to accompany me.. i need frenz company!! will there be one?? haish.. i dislike being like this.. i noe people are starting to miss the lively yvonne right.. i also hope to be myself once again.. everyday couldnt get to sleep and think so much make me feel very xin ku.. i am only suffering.. gosh.. i never noe what is happiness like anymore.. cause i can no longer sense it.. i am getting bit by bit everyday.. more and more emo everyday.. what is the use.. i stored everything inside me till one day i am going to explode then it will be gone.. when will that day ever come?? i always hide my feeling.. then it make me damn xin ku.. i talked to my winnie the pooh.. something which dont response make me suffer more.. gosh.. i am getting insane kays!! i talked to a non-living thing and i expect it to respond.. oh my!!! haish..

maybe i shouldnt think that way

today i am going to write a early post.. haha.. nothing really much to do.. gaming all day long.. feeling so sianz.. yesterday i slept early.. haha.. actually i wanted to wait for xinyi to come back online de but there was really nothing for me to do.. so i went offline.. lie on my bed thinking and thinking until i fall asleep.. crazy ar.. haha..

today woke up early neh.. 10plus jiu wake up le.. then i watched huan zhu ge ge 3.. indeed it was very touching.. i cried when i saw ziwei crying so bitterly when she knew that erkang was dead.. but it was just a lie made by the mian dian gong zhu.. how can she broke up two so loving couples.. gosh.. but anyway it was just a show.. not in reality.. haha.. so dont need bother much about it.. heex.. after watching show i come online le.. wah everyday same routine.. wonder when will i be able to change the routine neh.. haish.. feeling quite sianz liao.. =((

ah forget it.. nothing seems to be correct for me this few days.. but i must said that on friday i really enjoyed.. that was the only day of the week i was happy.. other than that nah dont have.. quite sad ar.. changed the blogskin too.. and it was kinda emo commented by the rest.. but i lurv it ar.. i like emo emo.. haha.. cause i am a emo ger.. who cares.. nobody bothers also.. hoho.. life never been so emotic until this few days hit on me.. arghz.. dont noe should i be happy or sad sia.. hmm.. leave everything at the place it should be bah.. maybe i should really get over it soon bah..

just as i thought that everything will be fine.. some other things came rushing and hit my weak heart.. which leads to me crying again.. i tears again when looking out of the windows.. i dont noe why.. maybe i really get too affected by things recently bah.. well fine i admit i do become some sort of crybaby recently.. my tears just drop so freely.. maybe they noe my eyes have dust so help me clean off.. haha.. what a joke kays!! i am worry i am scare.. will things ever get back the same like what happened recently?? i told rain she said i shouldnt be that selfish to keep everything by my side.. things wouldnt change just that time together will get lesser.. ya right.. i am getting a bit too selfish.. but i am too attach to it.. i depends a lot on it.. now telling me to let it go.. i cant bear.. i really cant bear.. ya true people step in and out of your life.. and things will always be changing.. i cant possible have one thing with me the whole life.. eventually it will be gone and i have to start finding new one.. maybe the deep cut by someone make me feel the hurt and pain.. that why now i feel so scare and worry.. what am i scare actually.. to be left alone?? anyway i am alone what so why do i bother.. ah fine.. forget it.. "chuan dao qiao tou zhi ran zhi" am i right?? ha..

i dont have the security in me once again.. i am losing it very quickly.. i dont gain security at all.. what should i do man.. haish..

problems came crashing in my life.. i was being shot.. it nearly kill me.. how i wish i can have a little happiness.. but it doesnt always come true.. i have lost.. i have lost to the battle.. i didnt noe that losing a battle will make me sooo sad and dont noe what to do.. ahhh.. i think i need a break.. a good long break.. but school just started.. *sigh* do i really deserve all this?? haish.. family is another factor that kill me.. everytime will hear complaining.. i finally noe a person shouldnt marry too early and to be tight down by a family.. my cousin is just an example for me.. what if one day his family really break.. then how will my 2 beloved nephews become?? it will definitely hurt them.. i noe they are young.. but they noe what is going on.. cant life be just simple and plain?? why always have all this things happening de.. ah fine fine.. i am hit by all this nonsense.. no one can believe that a ger who always seem to be smiling having all this kind of torture.. life is not going to be life anymore.. just burden.. sometimes i really feeling like forgeting everything.. getting some sort of shi yi zheng.. but i couldnt unless i have heavy blow on my back brain.. ha.. then i will be in coma.. ah.. rubbish..

ah forget it.. and nah my life shouldnt really be like this.. maybe i am wrong.. maybe things are not going to be as bad as what i think.. maybe i am a bless ger.. there will be people out there to guide me and be with me.. i shouldnt think so much.. my life is actually good.. i got many people around me who cares.. so i shouldnt think so much.. i am a good ger.. life will be easier one day..

yesterday was a short day in school.. i went to school for only two and a half hours lecture.. and i slacked around at library to wait for xinyi before heading to town.. oh yah.. bought carrot cake and springroll at cheers yesterday.. wah i got a shock when i paid the money.. $2 sia.. so expensive.. i shall not go there buy again.. anyway lecture was rather boring.. cause was learning about the different theories of mathematics.. but surprisely.. i was listening to the lecture.. imagine bah.. hahaha.. but when lecture ending soon i felt soo sleepy.. cant wait to lie down on bed to sleep.. hmm..

after lecture.. had no where to go.. initially leen accompanying me at library to wait for xinyi.. but later she went off with liyu and cindy to jurong point.. dont noe do what.. haha.. so i went to the library alone.. not noe-ing what i should do.. so i decided to go and look for books regarding arts and craft and music and movement lesson.. then looked for it soo long.. after that i thinking of sitting at the table and read through it.. but i saw huishan.. haha.. she didnt go for lunch with nicole they all.. so we sat down and chat.. she then realised need to teach lesson.. so she also went to look for books.. we discussed what can we do.. haha.. then time flied so fast.. soon xinyi called.. and i left after returning those books.. huishan still there waiting for them to return to school.. =))

headed down to town.. went to heeren.. cause xinyi wanted to get her skinny jeans.. she currently soo crazy about skinny jeans lah.. but she looks nice wearing it.. =)) then after that we walked all the way to takashimaya to have our lunch.. she asked what i wanted to eat i told her i wanted to eat yoshinoya.. but she dont want.. so in the end.. we had our usual lunch.. mos burger.. haha.. after eating.. we went to the takashimaya shop.. i went to look at those sling bag there as i had $90 voucher to spend there.. wanted to buy that adidas purple colour de sling bag.. but xinyi commented that it was too big and after thinking awhile.. indeed true that i dont need such a big bag.. LOL~ so we went to walk around.. saw the puma sling bag.. but too bad lah dont have black in colour.. if not i confirm buy that.. saw different brand de also.. and i had confirm.. i going to get that sling bag by dont noe what brand de.. is light pink and white in colour.. so nice.. haha.. finally i noe which one i wanted to buy.. hehe.. i shall go back there one day this few weeks and get my bag.. hehe..

xinyi also bought her eye liner.. after that jiu take bus to bukit batok.. i became crazy when i was inside the bus.. then we dont noe talking about what.. all siao siao de.. haha.. i didnt go astro at night cause i got something on last minute..

anyway yesterday was high.. i lurv it.. =DD happy~

today is raining damn heavily lah!! duh~~ so stupid.. actually i walked out of my house already but i realised it was raining.. in the end i went home again to get the umbrella and walked to the bus stop.. wind was blowing so big that umbrella nearly flied.. =.= i was almost wet.. so heavy rain sia.. it rained the whole day.. -.-

wah today whole day all boring lesson.. having FM lecture i felt like i gone back to my secondary school time learning POA.. so stressful.. but i must said that i wasnt really paying attention.. today all lectures my mind wonder.. i wasnt there.. what lecturer taught i dont even noe.. i was very bored and tired.. ended up.. i was drawing on blank paper.. i dont noe what to draw so i anyhow draw people.. heex.. below are what i have drawn.. =))

wah.. was rather daydreaming in class.. so i draw out this picture.. if one day really can be like this picture.. how xing fu will it be.. =)) so sweet right?? =D

after lesson.. we had 4hours of break.. and we were busy deciding where to go during our DLE tutorial.. haha.. paper was passing around to vote where to go.. initially library won but i argued until it turned out to be KAP our final decision.. was rather unhappy when we were deciding.. dont talk about it anymore.. yummy i got my nice nice de fries and yummy de mcspicy plus one regular ice milo.. hoho.. ren jian mei wei man.. heeex.. i saw didi at KAP too.. he was there with his gang of frenz.. but no shuai ge leh.. oops.. haha.. we did our discussion for SAM assignment there too.. had fun there lah cause we were trying out our games.. haha.. but kinda speechless when it came to this game.. i was gong gong de lah.. everything seems so blur to me.. =X but i still managed to get some ideas what is the games about.. =) clever yvonne kays!!

ah ma took this photo when i was calling my field practicum mentor.. de~~ then eileen was commenting that i was having some affairs with macdonald shu shu.. =.=

today went home with ting ting.. and eileen also.. and that eileen became crazy.. she was laughing all the way from AW lecture till the time we going home.. then got this guy who refuses to move to the rear and both ting and leen wasnt happy so they started to like talking damn loudly trying to ask the guy to move in.. but that guy still didnt move in.. is like de.. what the hell.. and many people needed to board the bus.. =.= then i called xinyi both of them became crazy simply complaining to her through phone.. asking her to scold that guy.. but i believed if xinyi was here she confirm scold.. haha.. her character.. oops.. hehe..

then the 3 of us became crazy and high lah.. we kept laughing and having fun.. then we also took pictures.. bus shaking so big then still take photo.. haha.. so stupid right.. but was rather fun.. hehe.. this one is normal de.. still okay ar..

this one is ki siao one.. actually still got a lot but i didnt post it up.. too embarassed liao.. haha.. but was fun lah.. we became siao ger ar.. haha.. =DD

overall today still okay.. but just not happy over certain things.. i think i shall forget about it and move on bah.. =))

i didnt noe how i sleep yesterday.. =.= now i am having a server pain on my neck.. i cant turn my head.. so pain.. talking to another one is soo difficult.. it seems like my neck is breaking sooner or later.. =.=

met up with eileen at around 2pm.. i was the first one to reach.. so early lah.. duh~ initially thinking that since xinyi class released at 1pm so she wouldnt be late.. but.. i was wrong once again.. she was far tooo late.. nevermind.. so me and leen went to taka first to eat.. finally i had MOS burger.. YUM!! i lurv it man.. so long didnt eat le.. hehe.. then xinyi arrived.. i was still slowly eating ar.. haha.. then after eating.. we went up to art friend as leen need to buy things for her lesson on monday.. so we went in art friend strolling around lah.. diaoz.. then we also went inside other art shop.. wah i must said.. i am in LURV with those things there.. so adorable lah.. hmm.. if i got the money i will definitely buy de loh.. haha.. after that jiu go walk walk awhile loh.. then leen had to go off le at around 4plus.. so we went off liao with her..

i dont feel like going home man.. it was still early.. mood wasnt that good dont noe why.. so i fan xinyi asking her to not to go home first.. but she doesnt want to.. so thinking of forget it just go home and rot in front of my lappie.. but suddenly mood change lah.. eyes became a litter watery.. feeling so emo.. out of sudden sia.. crazy ger.. i was trying very hard to hold my tears back man.. hengz ar.. tears didnt drop down.. =) so i got this strong feeling that i shouldnt go home now bu ran i will become damn emo lah.. so i drag xinyi away by not letting her board 188.. kinda mean lah.. asked her go lot 1 she doesnt want.. so in the end sit at interchange not noe-ing what to do lah.. wanted to talk but just couldnt speak out.. so sit there talked craps.. but in end she presuaded me to go her house.. i only want go the bus stop at her house there mah.. but who noes raining so went up to her house.. stayed at her house for around 2hours.. nothing to do only see her msn msn.. then listen to songs loh.. then her mummy so nice.. cooked he bao den then i also got one.. haha..

hmm.. i dont understand why my mood is like the heartbeat man.. sometimes very high sometimes jiu down dao bu xing.. i hate this kind of life le lah.. i am going to tell myself i cant be like that anymore.. i am in ECH year 2 liao.. i need to arrange my time well.. i cannot no mood jiu dont feel like going home.. i must plan my time well.. slowly i am piling up with assignments once again.. that what i fear most.. but it seems like many things i going to consider le.. i cant be that ridiculous anymore.. haish.. i have to learn to grow up.. i need to noe i cant always keep one person by my side for long.. i need to learn.. people will eventually leave you and soon you will be alone again.. i going to be strong and not affected by certain things.. =)

wah i still couldnt sleep properly.. will suddenly wake up de sia.. hmm.. too many things inside my mind liao.. worse still even having nightmare sia.. having different kinds of dreams yesterday.. got good de and got bad de.. hopefully the good one will be ale to fulfill while the bad one go away.. =D my mood currently turning better but i still couldnt really open up my mouth and communicate with her.. the barrier is still there.. what others said is i need time.. hopefully time will really make me recover well and smooth but i noe the trust will no longer be there.. certain things i also wouldnt be able to open up and voice it out.. =)) things will turn better bah.. afterall certain things which happened already wouldnt be able to erase off unless i am able to turn back the time.. but i noe time couldnt be turn back so i decided to move on.. bless me well when i move on bah.. =))

SAM lecture was fun.. we had to write out our lifeline.. wah i never imagined yuan lai my life is soooo packed.. haha.. then we had games too.. talking about our childhood.. we got so many bu e gao ren de mi mi.. wahaha.. and nicole went out to choose the presentation date.. and wah she lousy hands lah.. pick on the 15 may.. we got a shock!! first group can.. we fainted.. then we realised on the floor got one more paper.. so we took it thinking that it will be later.. but who noes.. is on 22 may.. like not much different.. =.= wah so rush lah.. hmm.. need to come out with games station.. *faint*

anyway today break time went to library.. i had my usual tuna and egg sandwich.. today was a special day.. i didnt drink bubbles tea.. cause i was having a terrible gastric pain.. feeling like want to die liao lah.. eat sandwich jiu very full liao.. head laying down on the table like want to die anytime le.. =.= gastric pain started yesterday when i reached home.. =.= till today.. oh gosh.. haha.. but i managed to survive. LOL~ i still played games with them kays!! we played apples to apples de game.. like so dumb kays.. debate!! it was like my weakness lah.. i CANT debate.. i was like sitting there seeing people debate lai debate qu lah.. -.- they bu xiang debate lah.. more like want go fight liao.. haha.. initially wanted to play uno stacko.. but they dont want.. sobx.. nevermind.. i believed we enjoyed ourselves once again during break time.. haha..

went for FM tutorial.. the lecturer is damn funny.. the way she talked.. and she was rushing through cause she was rather late for class.. no one told her that DLE was cancelled today which means her lesson is the last lesson for the day.. then after she finished she quickly opened the door for us.. then one of my frenz told her we no more lesson.. she went this way @.@!! my class is getting naughty.. haha.. after lesson me and leen went library.. we did some discussion on the lesson plan on arts.. but it seems so difficult.. hmm.. we got different books to see.. what interest me is play dough.. haha.. so long since i last played play dough.. =(( i want to play again.. hopefully i can tried this activity out with my godsis.. haha.. my godsis kinda like my bai lao shu lah.. who ask her also 5years old.. oopss~~

wah i dont really noe how to complete DLE MeL homework.. die.. i dont have the book too.. sobx sobx.. how how how.. haiyoyo!! so stupid.. last week lecture also didnt teach much leh.. hmm.. i guess i only can anyhow do then thursday listen attentively during tutorial.. hehe.. =))

oh my.. where i always like couldnt sleep peacefully de ar?? is like i keep waking up in the middle of night not noe-ing what to do lah.. fine fine fine.. i am getting out of hands too.. =.=

i still dont really have the mood to go around laughing and smiling to the others.. maybe i really couldnt take it this time round bah.. too weak liao.. weak until i already starting to fall.. sickness came back to me once again.. throat wasnt feeling very good.. but i still insisted on tom yum mee huen kuey when i went to meet eileen at BPP for lunch.. thinking that it wouldnt kill me de.. but i was wrong.. throat started to get dry.. drank lot of water to clear the dryness.. lucky!! couldnt finish the food and left quite a lot there.. waste my money!! =.= anyway it taste nice kays!!

went back to school after that to meet sheryl and pass her the PPCM textbook.. suddenly saw xinyi they all at the bus stop waiting for bus.. she was commenting that 2pm lesson so late then reach.. i was like de~~ you even later can!! =p stupid ger still say us.. =.- then she dont noe say what to eileen.. hmm.. dont want tell me.. i told maxine xueli and yanyi that xinyi bully me.. but no one reply wo.. sobx sobx.. ke lian de yvonne ar~~ after that went to library and meet up with sheryl.. then eileen wanted to drink bubbles tea so we went inside library and buy.. i also buy one cup haha.. making me damn full ar.. lolx.. drink all the way to the lecture hall.. haha.. inside also drink but i really cant finish all so i threw it away le.. i wasnt sleepy during lecture.. maybe cause i didnt attend childcare in the morning.. but eileen was very tired.. she almost die there lah with all the boring video.. haha..

after lesson dont really feel like going home.. my feeling is rather moodless and furthermore i have to eat outside myself.. wah irritating right.. mummy didnt cook today.. so without anyone to accompany me to walk walk.. so i went back home.. dont really feel like eating.. went home online thinking that playing games can make me feel better.. but i got nothing to play.. and out of the sudden.. i had gastric.. wah so many problems lah.. so without any choices i went to buy dinner.. dont noe what to eat so i bought porridge home.. on my way back home i was thinking until i nearly cried while walking lah.. went back home and didnt do anything.. suddenly after dinner i realised that i havent complete my homework.. wah rush for it man.. =.= i dont even noe what i am suppose to do lah.. haiyo.. nevermind i have finished everything..

i feel like a useless paper which will be thrown away sooner or later.. my feeling are recently all mixed up.. i dont noe what to do.. i have to face the fact that i need someone by my side.. but who will the person be?? i realised that i have no freedom at all.. is like i cant meet up with people i am close with?? do i have to pass by you before having everything?? i have a terrible time thinking.. haish.. i thought i can forget everything.. but it seems like i cant.. the feeling is still inside me.. INSIDE ME!! i cant pull it out.. i cant forget i really cant!! sobx!!!!!!!

what did i do to have all this suffer??? what am i going to do??? i feel hurt!!!

i didnt get into sleep last night.. my mind was still wondering around which made me fall into a dilemma.. i wanted to talk to people.. only that i can then be focus on something.. but it was far too late and i dont wish to bother anyone.. so i was turning here and there on m bed.. staring at the blank ceiling of mine doing nothing.. my mind was mixed up.. i couldnt think.. i only noe i felt damn terrible yesterday.. arghz..

my eyes was swollen and it became small once again.. it had been long since i last cried until so bad.. morning woke up with small little swollen eyes but lucky it was fine after that.. i tried my best to put on a little smile in me.. telling myself everything will be fine after that and i dont need to worry so much.. things will be over soon and i should always look on the bright side.. but i cant.. i began to lose trust in everything.. i have actually see the cruel side of humans.. i have never see this kinds of things at all.. why do i have to encounter all this when i stepped into poly life.. i never never met this kinds of things before.. i always think that those people that i meet are all nice people cause they treat me nicely.. but this is no longer the truth.. i noe the ugly side of humans too.. hah hah.. should i count myself lucky or what..

everyone is telling to stop being emo.. i noe i should stop.. but i scared i cant.. i dont really have the strength now.. i have lost the direction in my life.. totally lost.. lost the trust in everything.. not noe-ing who is real and who is fake.. i am scared that i see the wrong things once again.. people who are real and true i might see them as fake.. people who are fake i might see them as true.. i cannot afford to accept this again.. i will fall.. i will fall.. i have eventually drop into a big hole and i dont noe how to climb up.. no one can pull me up i guess.. people are far far too cruel.. yah true i might not see what is the most ugly side.. but now this already make me feel terrible.. if one day i really got to see.. i will really lost myself.. xinyi asking me to brace up.. but i cant.. what to do.. this is really very very terrible.. ha.. i am met with a big problem..

but i noe i still have nice people around me.. leen said this in her blog "Jus that Von is more fragile and need more protection,which Xinyi n I said to protect Von for now till she can protect herself." arent both of them just so sweet?? i noe i am weak.. i noe i always depend on people.. i can never protect myself.. last time i use to have rain to protect me.. but now i have 2 more people to protect me.. in total 3 lovely people will be yvonne de shou hu tian shi.. until the day i really find my zhen zhen de shou hu tian shi they 3 will always be my shou hu tian shi.. i lurv them.. they are sweet people.. they always make me tears cause i am touched.. not sad kays.. =))

go away people who are wearing masks.. dont hurt me anymore.. i cant accept the fact.. i am lost.. bring me back to the path i am going to walk.. and not push me aside..

oh i realised something.. it truely hurting and pain.. it had cause a hurt cut inside my heart.. and now i noe everything.. what a shock.. and it actually kept inside a innocent ger for almost a year.. and kept a naive ger not noe-ing for almost a year too.. it is far too cruel.. am i really being too naive?? i thought everything was over cause this happened long ago when i fall in lurv.. but now i begin to noe more things..

i noe something is wrong about the friendship i had during my first year in poly.. but i tried my best to solve everything.. i realised my mistakes so i apologised and always trying to save and made it better.. i thought we were okay and fine as nothing seems to have any problem le.. but now i was WRONG!! totally wrong..

am i such a bad ger whereby you can backstabbed behind me and trying to make yourself seems so great?? you once promised to be by my side when i need you but you actually running away.. you said you were tired so i tried to keep everything to myself and making you relieved.. you were happily in a relationship while me trying hard to protect myself.. you made me thought i can trust you so i told everything to you.. thinking that since you were once in a relationship before would eventually helped me solve my problems.. you always said i dont have the confidence in myself and always tried to make me feel confidence.. but now.. you turning your head off.. you have made me see through you.. you are such a fake person.. if you are tired of being by my side.. just tell me straight away.. dont tell it to another person and keeping me in the dark for so long.. since you are tired.. i am also tired.. i hate fake friendship.. you made me starting to feel uncertain about frenz..

i dont noe why you were telling stories about me.. i didnt do all those things you said.. you are trying to make use of me and then just throw me aside after this.. dont you noe how hurt it will be.. i never encounter this before in my whole 19years of life.. and now you are coming to me making me as if i am that useless.. I HATE YOU!! i definitely hate you.. you made me feel like a shit now.. whatever you said out will no longer be able to turn back.. i believe what xinyi said karma do exist.. whatever you do to me will get back to you one day.. i am not being cruel.. but i am being truthfully to myself.. i hate to do this.. but you made me to.. I AM GOING TO WASH MY HANDS OFF YOU!! i mean what i said.. you made me feel totally disappointed in you.. you will never gain my trust again.. I SWEAR!!

you made me cried.. and i actually cried when talking to xinyi.. i actually cried for 3 times in just a day.. why why.. my heart is so fragile.. but i cant be strong anymore.. i need to have a shoulder to lean on.. i have to learn to make frenz only if they are true.. i will never made a frenz who is like you who always put on a mask.. i have seen through you and i noe you are such a person.. forget it.. you dont worth me anymore..

i am great that my close pal see through and noe what kind of person i am.. she will never be tired when she with me.. she never complain like you do.. she is worth of me but you are not.. i dislike your attitude.. you made me hate you forever..

yvonne is life is going to be very fragile.. i am going to break down any time.. i find myself being useles.. i hate myself.. i hope i can see shooting star which will grant my wishes for me.. i want to leave this untrue world.. i want to live far far away.. i dont want to stay here.. the scar will be forever there.. and it will never be mend.. i have made a wrong choice to be frenz with you and treating you so well.. i should have listen to the others.. but i just want to prove them wrong.. but now i noe they meant well..

you are such a disgrace.. i hate you!!!

who will be there to allow me to cry on.. my heart feels the pain.. really pain.. i am really really feeling PAIN!!!!

i am happy enough to have rain xinyi and eileen by my side.. they made me understand.. but can i have their assurance too?? *wondering*

today i had a very very long period of lesson.. maths lesson was like so scary as we were playing games.. games were kinda making people feel scared.. everyone wishing that it wasnt their turn.. haha.. isnt it weird.. LOL~ after that we had a almost 3hours break.. and we got nothing to do after eating our lunch.. so we went over to the library games corner.. wah we were having lot of fun and everyone becoming crazy.. we play jenga whereby when the blocks dropped we all shouted and everyone turning here to look at us.. so embarrasing man.. then after that we switched it to a game called life but none noe how to play so we returned it and asked that person to introduce us a game to play.. that game is interesting and fun lah.. had sooo much fun playing.. everyone become crazy.. eileen from very cold become very hot.. siao le lah.. then i was laughing non-stop man.. =.= after that went for AW tutorial.. and having this activity asking to draw a person.. wah damn stupid.. the lecturer ws actually describing me and asking the rest of my classmates to draw me.. when the lecturer was like saying nice long brown hair i was thinking high possibilities it will be me.. but bridget was saying it was qingling.. but yah in the ed is me.. wah piangz.. stupid bridget drew until so ugly and funny lah.. -.- lesson ended at 6pm and last lecture was SCV1.. hmm.. learning different kinds of things once again.. haha..

after all the lessons jiu went for astro.. went up to the clubhouse and did nothing jiu came down to canteen 1 to meet up with eileen.. had dinner together with her cause her bf is sick and no one accompany her eat dinner.. finally i had my kaki fuyong set.. yum yum.. hehe.. then after that jiu went up to clubhouse with shuling and chongyee while eileen she went off.. astro had new freshies coming in.. today evelyn also announced the new committee.. and my post is both secretary and treasurer.. wah double post neh.. only me.. shuling was laughing all the way lah.. stupid ger.. -.- we had some kind of introduction.. after that it was the orientation games.. and i was the one in-charge.. we played one of the games planned while junwei helped me to think of other games to play.. we had fun bah i guess.. but i dont really noe those freshies.. havent really start talking to them.. haha.. soon ar.. oopss... we had our supper at KAP.. so long didnt eat macdonald le.. so nice to eat.. haha..

after supper.. it was star gazing time.. and i was waiting for my meteor shower.. but i was far toooo not happy.. i dont see any shower or shooting star at all.. the rest of the 3 with me saw.. and i always dont have the chance to see.. this is all fated.. which means i dont really have the fate in seeing a shooting star bah.. i dont have a chance to make my wish in front of the shooting star.. haish.. a bit of disappointment.. everything is not going the way it should be.. i thought my chance of seeing the meteor shower is high.. people asking me whether i seen one.. but too bad i didnt see any.. tomorrow 22 april will be the peak period of meteor shower.. there will be many meteor shower.. could it be true?? i dont really have the time to go and watch i once again.. could it be even lao tian ye also dont really want to grant my wishes so he doesnt let me have the fate to see.. haish..

today we were nearly late for classes cause we missed the bus.. =.= both 184 and 75!! haha.. nevermind but in the end we still got to school in time at 8am sharp.. my day is long for today.. i had all the lectures and time is passing through very slowly.. =.- lecturers are all talking in a very slow pace and causing me falling asleep.. i had to endure through my days.. i had different kind of lectures.. got financial management.. FP2.1 tutorial.. Maths for young children.. academic writing.. wah all seems so difficult.. i going through POA once again for FM.. FP2.1 tutorial i got so high.. i got back to my previous centre.. which means i still get to see all my small little darlings.. haha.. so happy to see them again.. it seems like i might be the only one going back to the same centre.. but i a little bit worry about those lessons that i need to carry out.. hmm.. nevermind i must make it through.. =) maths lecturer release us early and in total i got 4hours de break.. =.= but we had fun.. we went lunch with bridget that gang.. haha.. AW seems so difficult to study.. all those english thingy.. arrr.. i dont like.. but got to learn..

my feelings are so mixed up.. i dont even noe what i am doing.. i am having insomnia every night.. i dont noe why.. ever since the school started my sleep time are all so stupid.. i became sleepy during lesson even i sleep early.. why is this so.. i finding myself a bit crazy le lah.. haish.. it has been nearly a week.. my blog are getting more and more "haish" why am i sighing so much.. i actually stopped sighing very long ago.. but it is now coming back.. =( i deserve a slap on my face to wake me up.. i need to wake up.. i am falling down to a deep hole.. i need to be pull back..

recently i have been saying i have a jealousy heart.. many people are asking why i think that way.. so i disclosed it now.. hmm actually i realise my heart is always feeling very sour which means i get jealous easily.. kinda stupid right?? there are many many things i will get jealous.. frenz make me jealous.. seeing people happily in a relationship make me jealous too.. stupid right?? i am just a stupid ger.. i always thought my close frenz are all close to me and they are mine.. i cant afford to share my frenz.. i feel very insecure.. i dont understand it.. i dont always rely on my frenz but they really make a deep impact in me.. i want them close.. but soon i realised i am just too selfish.. i cant always have them with me.. there are time they got to be with their pals too.. i might treat them close but they might have even closer frenz.. i cannot want them to be by my side for 24hours.. i have to learn.. i always tell myself i got part of them with me jiu good le.. i cannot be so selfish.. i have to really learn.. each person has their own things to do.. in life many things change.. i lost my closeness with my secondary school frenz.. i also lost my closeness with my kuku family.. everytime i couldnt make time ut just for them.. so i dont have any right to get jealous if they went out without me.. who to blame always and only ME.. i am the one to be blame.. i cant adjust my time.. i cant make my time out.. i am always busy with lot of things.. xinyi and eileen have been dating me out since holiday but i dont have time for them.. in the end i blame them for not dating me.. what am i turning into.. i lost the self in me.. my life is always turning from bad to worse.. i never have wonderful life but i do have wonderful memories.. i will never forget those memories i got.. i slowly telling myself to accept the very fact that i cant possible keep someone close to me for long.. there are time where i have to let go and allow the one to continue it journey.. i have to learn to let go of things easily and kind.. i told myself to allow others have their own time.. got a small portion of closeness jiu hao le.. yvonne is a strong ger.. she can survive without relying on her frenz.. her frenz will also support her..

i got what i want.. the assurance that i should have.. i got my sweet assurance from xinyi yesterday saying that she wouldnt bear to throw me aside.. today also got assurance from eileen that she also wouldnt dump me aside cause we are besties.. sweet assurance from rain too.. she made me drop my tears.. she said i am her zui teng de xiao mei and some words from her really make me feel so sweet.. she said "wo bu gan bao zheng wo yi ting zou de dao , bu guo zi yao zai wo de neng li fang wei , wo yi ding hui" isnt that sweet?? aww~ i lurv the 3 of them.. they made me feel lurv.. even though i dont have anyone to dote on me.. i still have them.. their sweetness made me feel touch and always make me tears.. i really really lurv them!! *hug hug*

today only went for 2hours de lecture and off i went home.. didnt tend booth as melvina said that quite a number of people staying there le.. so i went home loh.. nothing much to do at home.. jazz called at 5plus asking me whether i would like to meet her up at causeway point.. thinking nothing to do so i agreed.. so meeting her at 6plus at causeway point.. seeing her so happy i felt happy for her too.. all her mind now is her bf lah.. stupid ger.. never leave one space for me.. oopss.. better dont let her see this.. haha..

out of the sudden.. i am feeling a little bit of pain.. i see the hurt in someone and i see the pain in someone.. i have no ideas what i should do so i remain silent.. but silent makes the heart more pain and hurting.. i feel it.. things dont happen to me but i feel the pain and hurt.. dont you find it weird?? as what others said i am a ger who is totally easy influence by frenz and i definitely agree.. i dont understand why am i like that.. i cried together with my frenz when they are feeling down.. i smile and laugh with them when they are happy.. it seems like i dont have my own feeling.. haish..

her entry at her blog totally make me cry.. i see how sad she was but she need to be strong.. i see how her lurv for him and how hard it is for her to let go.. i told her what i feel but it seems like i will eventually hurt her.. her feeling is what i cant feel.. what i do is i can only see and pretend to feel.. i never been in her shoes before.. so i cant comment anything.. she never been in my shoes before so she also cant comment anything.. i always thought that i am the one always feeling hurt and pain.. but now i noe i am not.. those who got into the relationship and ended up breaking up are far more hurting and feeling pain than me.. i noe i am cruel.. i noe i am stupid.. i always thought i am the most foolish person but i realised there are people who are far more foolish.. i am not commenting on her but myself.. people always think the way others dont think.. how to make others dont think the other way?? arghz!! haish..

just the third day of school reopen.. and i am encountering so much.. i told myself i must make it through with all my frenz.. but can i really do that?? i dont noe.. basically now i have no one to fall on.. people are all busy and i dont noe how to speak it out.. my life is always fearful and stupid.. i am tired.. my nights are all sleepless.. many things alway make me wonder and thus leading to me unable to get to sleep.. haish.. i noe certain things are not my problems.. but i have to sort it out.. i am not trying to be so wei da.. i just want to make things work and make it seems sensible.. but i think i cant do it.. =(

i guess is time for me to slowly let go those bothering things.. i have lot of things to handle myself.. haish.. the feeling is slowly finding the way back.. i need some support too.. i am grateful for those who stay by my side with me always.. i am looking forward!! i need a life of myself.. i need to be brave and strong.. i need to learn to grow.. i am 19 years old this year.. i am old enough to learn.. treat everything as a learning lesson and remember only the happy moments.. forget about the unhappiness and you will smile.. am i right??

wah only second day of school and i am feeling very tired.. haish.. things arent getting better.. i dont understand why.. i am feeling quite down.. but always have to face others with a smile.. without a smile there is nothing i can do.. haish..

first lesson of the day was SAM.. wah sam leh.. wang shaowei.. erm kinda lame ar.. that is what i told nicole.. haha.. having quite some fun during the lesson but once i heard the word assignment i felt so terribly worry.. haish.. i dont noe why the word assignment make me feel so scared.. maybe it make a deep impact in me for the past one year.. good assignments grade made me smile but bad assignments grade made me tears.. haish.. year 2 will be a tough year man.. it will make me mad!!

forget about the word bah.. make my life easier now better than feeling all the fear i can have.. date due are all far far away.. when it is nearer than start panicking bah.. nothing for me to do now as i cant possible do anything.. think of the brighter side bah.. =))

wah i dont understand how people really feel.. things dont happened to them but they are making it seems like it will happen to them soon.. sometimes people can be that fortunate while the rest feeling disfortunate.. i wonder whether got this word disfortunate.. LOL~ people tends to talk behind people a lot.. they dont even care about how it will hurt the rest.. sometimes we cant blame this people.. cause they also dont noe whether is there anyone there to talk behind their back.. haish..

anyway today went over to xinyi house.. initially only thought of asking her come bus stop then chit chat with her cause a lot things happened.. keeping it inside my heart will make me go mad.. so i have to talk to her.. she will help me solve.. =) but ended up went up to her house.. then she also helped me with the taping of my big book as it came out.. so talked to her also.. helped her called up singnet too.. she just far tooo "lazy" to call lah.. but waited for sooo long still didnt get connected with the people there.. feeling so fustrated liao lah.. but lucky xinyi called too and finally someone picked it up.. go through everything and finally it was done.. then xinyi mummy kept asking me to have dinner there.. her daddy also asked me eat.. =.= so xinyi said eat yi dian dian.. so i ate.. we talked nonsense there too.. then she fill me up with what happened during that night clubbing.. hmm.. kinda interesting.. wah i miss the fun i had last time.. =(( haish.. i hope to have just one more day of fun before i really forcus on my studies..

why do i have so many heart man.. i got jealousy heart.. i also got guilty heart.. gosh!! i am so STUPID!!

first day of my year 2.. but i hereby conclude that it was not a good start.. first time in my poly life i encountered a traffic jam which leads to me having some worry that i couldnt be in time for the CCA fiesta thingy.. but luckily i reached at 9.30am hai lai de ji ar.. but kinda bored over there.. initially going for the CCA parade for the opening of student plaza.. but waited till very long.. performances all the way.. so went back to the booth with yeeshan first and waited for awhile.. actually not wanting to go back.. but after which i realised xinyi was also there.. so went there instead just to have a talk.. and so long never see her le..

where on earth got parade NG and restart de?? so strange isnt it.. they told us to restart.. but we didnt even see people moving towards the underground and it ended.. waste of time actually.. =.= yeeshan came over but we sat in front of cheers doing nothing and it declared finish.. wah lame ar.. -__-" after which went back to the booth again.. all alone at the booth with no one ask none is free during that slot except for me.. kinda weird lah.. dont noe whether should i stand and give out the flyer or should i sit down to look at people walking pass.. finally decision was to stand around.. a group of other cca people block my way of people passing by.. so i was once again being block.. but luckily i managed to give up some flyers and people do came over and join.. later on i pulled laisheng to come over the booth and join me.. lucky his lesson over so he sit at the booth to accompany me.. hehe.. =)) that so nice of him ar.. soon sockping dionne elson david chongyee all came le.. wah when i need people no one come over.. when is not my timing to tend so many people come.. sianz half lah.. haha.. nevermind.. meet up with cindy after that and had lunch with her.. i finally had my bubbles tea!! heex.. so nice loh!! yum yum.. then after that jiu meet the rest at bus stop le..

we went for lesson at 2pm.. it was CD2.1.. wah the lecturer so funny but she was just a "relieve teacher" cause our actual lecturer was away.. notes are going to pile my cupboard once again.. just first lecture.. the amount of notes she gave was a lot.. and mind you only for the first term.. wah jia lat.. exam module.. i am starting to worry for my exam.. awwww~~ lecture ended at 4pm and off i went home..

had a little talk with shuling and realised a lot of things.. haish.. i cant really help her out.. she has to solve it all herself.. jia you bah my frenz.. remember those things you told me when i was feeling down the other time.. since yvonne can survive through all the mess.. you sure will.. dont think about the past forcus the present and future.. that what i can say.. =) jia you!!
and i kinda feeling bad about something.. i realised i shouldnt have voice it out to another one.. i am feeling bad.. i made someone feeling sad.. why am i so stupid.. always like to noe a lot and didnt even noe it will hurt someone.. haish.. useless me isnt it.. =((

anyway.. my cousin came over through msn and asked why am i feeling jealous.. i was stunned.. i couldnt reply him.. i am feeling confused.. many many things i am jealous.. but i dont noe how to put it.. i dont want to have this kind of feeling.. but i cant.. jealousy always leads to a lot of things.. things which i am scared of.. what my life going to be?? i hate life.. i hate it.. always making me confuse and upset.. arghz.. i dont want jealousy heart.. i want a normal heart.. too much jealousy will kill a person.. please please.. i only want a simple lfe..

wah i am damn bored can!! yesterday i broke record.. i offline at 11.30pm.. imagine.. it seems like it never going to be true.. but i did.. cause i got nothing to do.. xinyi was busy chatting on phone.. rain wasnt online.. so which means no one for me to chat.. haish.. today it happened to be the same again.. i online at 1pm without anyone there to entertain me.. overall i off my lappie and on my lappie for 3 times!! why am i that bored.. i also dont noe man.. -.-

today i finally use my time to make the agar agar that i bought last friday.. heex.. really had a hard time understand the procedure and i dont noe whether what i did is correct not man.. i waited for the water to boil before pouring in the powder but the packet it put to stir the powder and water until it boil.. =.= so did i do the correct way?? mummy wasnt sure about it too.. but anyway it turn out to be the same bah.. initially i taste it had some apple taste but after that my didi had a try it was tasteless.. is my taste bud spoil?? gosh.. i made a lot and it turn out to be tasteless!! no need to share with anyone le lah.. actually thinking of bringing some to school tomorrow to give eileen and xinyi eat de.. but too bad lah.. it is tasteless which means it cannot be seen in public!! looking at it make you feel like eating but if you eat it.. you will sianz half lah.. haiyo!! i should have pour in the cocktail syrup!! not good not good!! cant even pass the test!! wah i still thinking back last time my bdae san yi cook de agar agar.. so nice lah.. haish.. sadded man!! nevermind ar i swear i will cook it some other day soon!! let see the picture of my colourful agar agar..


tomorrow jiu start school le.. and i have to attend a CCA fiesta parade at 9am.. so i will be heading down to school with my didi.. he will be having lesson at 9am too.. haha.. i wonder how will tomorrow fiesta be like.. will there be a lot of people?? no one noes i guess.. =) just now got a assignment from kahheng asking me and clement to plan an ice breaking session on this coming friday astro session for the newbies.. also having some overnight observation.. and it is compulsory to stay overnight.. it is going to be a meaningful night for me man.. i cant wait for this friday to come cause there will be METEOR SHOWER!!! wah i am waiting for this day man.. in my whole life i havent see meteor shower.. wah i really hen qi dai neh.. but i wonder who will turn up for this friday astro?? will those close pals of mine go?? *wondering*

wah out of the sudden my mind have been thinking how a couple get together and what makes them go a separate way.. i cant really understand.. sometimes people are just not a easy to understand soul.. the very moment you see them together laughing hugging kissing like to en ai.. the next moment they break up and go separate way.. it is hard to understand.. when you like that person you try whatever way you can to get the person.. during the times you tell the person i lurv you forever and i wouldnt leave you alone.. all those sweet sweet stuffs come out of your mouth to try and coax the person you like.. when you break up have you consider what you promise the person in the beginning?? i must say i really hate this kind of things.. promises are all broken.. does this means promises are actually meant to be broken?? if this is so why people also want to promise something.. i hate broken promise.. if you promise on something make sure you fulfill it.. dont ever break it in front of me i will hate you.. i had enough of broken promises.. i am kinda side track.. oops.. aiyah afterall i find it childish lah.. people getting together and breaking up the next moment.. haixx.. being tired to see all this.. =(

anyway currently i have a very stupid thing to do.. for 1 year.. i have recently received a letter saying i didnt pay the school fees for the first 3 months i attended.. wah 1 year liao leh.. then now then say.. either i have to make a trip down to MOE to pay or MI to pay.. my lesson end 5pm almost everyday.. how am i able to pay.. gosh.. and i dont noe how to go MI.. wah pig lah.. haish no choice gotta make a trip down soon.. arghz.. because of this i got scolding from daddy once again.. haish.. life havent been that good nowadays man!! =((

wondering deeply inside my little soul but i just couldnt noe what actually i am thinking.. i have a sudden of heartache and i am feel low.. not noe-ing what i actually want next.. could it because those little talk that we had during the chalet?? i dont even noe the answer.. once again i feel the deep hurt inside and not noe-ing where i am heading to.. someone will be there to guide me along.. but i wonder who is that person.. someone i lurv?? trust?? or hate?? no one noes i guess..

i have been trying very hardto try and recalled something.. and out of which i remembered part of it.. it was a weird dreamz that i had yesterday.. i dreamt that me daddy mummy and didi were on a shopping trip.. it was so nan de the whole family went out together.. i was feeling happy.. out of the sudden polices were running towards a direction.. daddy went along while asking me mummy and didi to go to the other side.. i didnt want to but daddy insisted.. went to the fourth floor of the building and looked down saw daddy together with some policemen.. was feeling worried for daddy.. one guy was behaving madly.. he was targeting at another who tried to stop him.. out of the sudden he just grabbed hold onto a policewoman and as a police you would think that he/she would definitely have the strength to stop the person but who noes it was the opposite.. the man hold on to the policewoman arms and threw her down from his back.. the policewoman head hit the floor and she went unconscious.. the hit was damn big which impat on a huge sound of "bomb".. kinda scary.. another guy went to stop him and he had the same ending.. daddy was the next on line trying to stop him.. teas dropped down from my eyes and i was shouting "daddy daddy dont please dont".. daddy was approaching closely.. and i woke up suddenly.. i got a shock.. i thought it was real.. my heart was beating faster and faster.. i was so relieved that i woke up.. thank god!! if not i cant imagine what the dreamz will continue.. afterwhich i couldnt fall asleep.. and it was only 4plus in the morning.. i sit on my bed not noe-ing what to do.. stare at my cupboard blankly..

why on earth do i have this weird dreamz?? i feel scare.. could it be because of the ghostly stories that i heard during the chalet?? i have no ideas.. i dont want all this dreamz.. i just want a peaceful sleep to clear my mind.. but it just dont give me.. my sleep have been disturb everyday.. yesterday i really couldnt sleep.. i was getting awake almost every 2 hours.. this is crazy.. haish.. not noe-ing wha actually is happening.. haish.. i hate it i hate it..

haixx.. new semester is coming.. and things are going to be different.. i going to be year 2.. i guess problems between frenz will come back again.. many things happened during the holiday.. i doesnt want to open my eyes to see what will go on when school start.. why cant everything just stay as usual?? i am scare.. i dont want to noe what will happen.. i just want to remain like this.. last semester was a disaster.. i dont wish it to be happening again.. i suddenly dont feel like going school.. i dont noe why.. why do i dislike school out of the sudden?? i am feeling worry.. why am i so worry.. i dont noe.. haish.. growing up isnt a good thing afterall.. i want to remain like this forever.. but i doubt it will.. i still find secondary school enjoyable.. i miss secondary school life.. i miss!!! could it be turn back once more time?? sobx sobx.. i am tearing while thinking.. i dont like this at all.. i feel scare!!! =((

today i went to my secondary school classmates de chalet oh.. i met up with yilin and korkor at woodlands interchange before heading down to tampiness.. we took 168 there which was faster than the MRT.. when reached MRT i got a ren wu zai sheng and that was ti bring that expensive phone bill to my cousin.. everyone got a shock when we saw the phone bill lah.. my cousin called to australia and chat with his important ger and which leaded to phone bill of $371.. imagine lah.. he got scolding from my mummy and he forbidded us to tell my san yi but too bad.. mummy just told san yi.. i guess he would be receive a scolding vey soon.. oops.. change of topic le.. haha..

okay.. we bought things from shop n save before heading down to Aloha Yatch Club Chalet.. we bought tibits and drinks.. initally wanted to buy vodka but couldnt find the flavour i want.. so we bought "champange" not really champange cause it was non-alcoholic de.. someone called us to buy a bdae cake too cause we were celebrating aisha bdae.. so bought a chocolate cake.. after which we took bus 29 and headed down to the chalet.. the chalet was located soooo wu lu wu lu.. feeling a bit scare and worry.. we alighted at the wrong bus stop and we walked all the way up.. finally we reached and we didnt go in the wrong chalet.. haha.. thank god!! explored the chalet and after that yilin went back to tampiness to find ting cause she was all alone.. lingkwee didnt come in the end.. -.- stayed at the chalet with only one ger around and the guys started all the nonsense.. playing cards and teasing around.. i was hungry but everyone present there didnt noe how to start fire.. and our BBQ only started at 8plus.. marvin was the one who start the fire.. as usual.. =.= had a lot of food.. and korkor was complaining i didnt BBQ.. so to save all the trouble of them nagging.. i went to take out my lenses.. i wanted to BBQ but no one want to give me.. so i eat.. haha..

the BBQ only ended at 3plus in the morning after jazz and her bf eaten.. anyway we sang bdae song to aisha as her bdae is on 13 april.. we had fun during the chalet.. =)) let me recalled got who attended the chalet.. go me yilin ting jazz aisha amaluna laisheng zhikuan tinshen kahkhoon cheewei jolyon faizal marvin weiyang heye zaijie.. i think that all bah.. that is what i can think of.. hoho.. we had our champange tooo.. i shake and shake but it just couldnt pop!! in the end.. jazz bf helped us and it really pop.. haha.. and that jolyon was chasing me around cause he had used his thumb to cover the mouth of the bottle and the gas will shoot out.. and it got pour onto me.. idiot and i just bath!!! hmph.. i had to clean up again after that.. =.-

oh yah.. our chalet is located opposite old changi hospital.. it was sooo wu lu.. i was damn scared lah.. when it was around 1am me and korkor went out to fetch jazz and her bf.. they got lost as the uncle also dont now how to go to that chalet.. me and kor walked all the way down but jazz and her bf were at the top there.. =.= we were walking along a very wu lu road.. no cars everything were quiet.. i grabbed onto kor shirt and he was complaining i tearing his shirt.. pig him de.. when kor saw them but i didnt i still asked him whether did he see the correct one not.. he insisted that he was correct and lucky he was correct.. scary!! anyway laisheng insisted on me going to changi hospital and i kept rejecting.. i am timid i admit.. he knew it but he just wanted me to be scared.. idiot guy!! hmph.. can you imagine.. yvonne LISTEN to ghost stories!!! i was the only ger there and together with zhikuan tinshen cheewei and jolyon.. it was around 5plus in the morning.. although it was morning but still got a little bit of scaryness.. my hair stand and i grabbed hold to a pillow tightly.. but afterall they were still joking around.. but it somehow scares the timid me.. i swear i wouldnt want to listen again next time.. i nearly tears kay!! -.-

me ting yiling jazz and her bf korkor left the chalet at 7plus in the morning as ting needa go back to school to meet her bf.. we didnt even sleep during the night and ting had to go school.. kelian de her man.. she took the MRT to school while we took 969 home.. i walked home from admiratly after that.. reached home bath and sleep.. tooo tired le.. =)

woke up at 4plus in the afternoon.. i was sooo hungry.. bath and went for dinner at 5.30pm with mummy and godma family.. godpa bought durians and i got some too.. yippeee.. i am craving for it kay.. finally i got one.. so which means i am not going to recover that soon le.. heex.. but hopefully i recover soon kay!!! =))

oh yah.. yesterday we had our ladies talk.. hehe.. ting and jazz were talking about how they met their bf and stuffs.. so sweet isnt it.. =)) sometimes i do have a heart of envy man.. i told yilin about it what she said was just follow the fate bah.. nothing we can control.. yah that is quite true.. whatever we will encounter next time is already plan for us when we are born.. so let just follow what it has been plan bah.. =) my heart of envy is slowly going to replace my heart of jealousy..

i cut my fingers once again.. gosh.. it seems like i always cut my fingers when i go for a chalet.. yesterday i got cut by the side of the tongs when i wanted to use it to open the packet of hotdogs.. haish.. as usual de me man.. =(

today morning morning 9plus daddy jiu open my door and wake me up.. but i was so tired.. i continued to lai chuang.. so i only managed to wake up at around 9.40am.. lolx.. that is super late k!! haha.. daddy and didi went down to 768 to have their breakfast.. while me and mummy stayed at home to prepare to go.. hmm.. only got really at around 10.50am.. and went down to 768 to find them.. took a cab down to granny's house..

reached around 11.10am.. granny still cooking food to bring to the place to sao mu.. after that daddy and didi took a bus to the place while me mummy granny and ah gong took a cab there.. daddy reached there before us.. he also pray hao le for the da bo gong.. so we proceeded to the area to pray for my great grandmother all.. dont really noe got who got who.. -.= really stupid.. haha.. i pray with sincerely k.. =) walking up and down everywhere as there were quite a few place to go to.. oh ya when we climbed all the way up to 3rd floor i guess.. that is great grandma and dont who de mu.. ah gong fell down to his knee.. he didnt notice the gao di over there.. his eyes are giving him problems and he refuses to see the doctor.. no one can persuade him.. ended up he got a pain legs.. haiyo.. that time everyone was holding on to joss stick.. and i got myself a burn on my right hand due to my dumbness!! wah that was pain k.. and now it became a small black blister.. awwww~~ awful man!!

accompanied granny to walk around to buy the mu place.. we were finding the most beautiful place for her.. this is to allow her have a good view next time.. *slap my mouth!!* okay dont say about that liao.. everyone around me are to live dao hao hao!! =) after sao mu jiu went to granny's house to eat lunch.. wah my lunch is at 2pm lah!! and i was far tooo hungry cause i didnt get to eat my breakfast!! haish.. nevermind.. in the end i got a full lunch!! hehe.. =D yum yum.. got my favourite bai zhan ji!! hoho.. i lurv granny cook de bai zhan ji!! hoho.. =)) then after that we ate biao gu ownself plant de starfruit.. she plant it at her house de backyard.. wah the starfruit soooo tasty lah.. sweet sweet also.. so long didnt eat le.. heex.. after that we rushed back to causeway point.. didi need daddy de singpass in order to create CPF for the school fees.. after everything daddy need to rush back to office so we shop around at causeway point.. mummy bought a jacket for me and didi.. hehe.. looking for didi de bag.. but he dont like those nike and adidas de.. so ma fan lah.. i said nice he said not nice.. see this is sooo stupid lah.. =.= tonight didnt have dinner cause just now too full le.. haha..

oh yah.. i called the tuition agency le.. and i finally spoke to that lady.. yippee.. i got the job i guess.. currently waiting for her coordinator to call me up to tell me everything.. wah really happy.. bless me for doing a good job in this area bah!! =))

no one online chat with me.. so sianz.. eileen slept at this time liao.. rain watching wanyu.. xinyi went club.. oh gosh.. my 3 frequent chatters are gone.. boring night staying at home.. all cause i am sick if not i will be joining xinyi le mah.. =(

really cannot imagine i slept for 12 hours today.. gosh!! i am really a pig lah.. but also cannot blame cause i am really tired afterall.. heex..

today online whole day bu shi see online shopping jiu shi watch fang yang de xin xin.. like so fully spent right.. but it so bored!! everything seems to be arrange properly for me.. feeling so lousy lah.. =.=

wah online shopping really make me soooo addicted!! i see all those lovely clothes.. i saw some i like but due to my big hole in my pocket.. i gave it up.. see see jiu hao bah.. but making my hands so itchy!! i wanted to buy.. haish.. mummy dont want to support me cause she said this kind of things cannot buy de cause cannot see.. but hor.. they got state the size all there mah.. hmm.. if i have money i sure buy de.. -.- but cannot waste too much money on it too.. =) wah lucky i still noe how to control my money.. hengz!! haha.. but really very hook to it.. all the things i see are sooo nice.. shoes nice dress nice tshirt nice skirt nice jeans nice shorts nice.. wah.. practically everything is nice.. heex..

okay enough of shopping online.. jazz called today telling me got one tuition student staying near me.. primary 4 kid teaching that boy english maths and science.. initially i was thinking huh primary 4 leh later i dont noe how to teach how.. try my best to ask around my frenz and they said just take loh.. can learn also.. so decided to call jazz and confirm with her but she told me lingkwee is taking the job.. so thinking forget it bah.. but later she told me to confirm with lingkwee.. so called her up but she is having her BAOC.. so only manage to talk to her at night.. in the end.. she gave the job to me.. thank to her neh.. =) but i havent manage to get to call the person.. no one answer the call.. i shall call up tomorrow bah.. =)

nothing to do le.. feeling soo sianz.. haish.. decided not to see those online shopping stuffs cause it will only make me feel sooo sad.. haha.. nevermind bah.. let wait for the time i have money and buy.. i am sure will have more nice one de.. hehe..

okay okay.. after one week stay at san yi to help her look after nei nei cause da jie working.. i am finally home once again.. i miss the home smell and miss a lot of things.. my daddy my mummy and my didi.. =)) i also miss all my frenz.. last time stay at er yi house at least got computer then can online.. san yi house de computer spoilt le.. i cant online.. sad sia.. so this means i am lost in touch with the internet world!! LOL~ during that one week i was terribly sick.. i shall only elaborate on certain things..

sunday which was april fool i was down with fever and sore throat.. without noe-ing that i was really having a fever.. i still insisted to go blow wind with mummy they all.. ended up feelng damn terrible when i was inside the car.. somemore was sitting in the middle and was feeling so cold.. worse still i ate fried seafood.. imagine lah.. haha added on to my pain.. at night i really cannot tahan.. san yi gave me one big glass of warm water and i drank it down.. when lingling jiejie come home she gave me drink one kind of herb by her company *she is working in network marketing selling those jian kang thingy* it taste so horrible lah cause it was in powder form.. yukes!! terrible taste!! one big glass drank down.. next come another big glass.. wah piang.. made me felt like vomitting lah.. =.= late in night couldnt sleep.. terrible feeling lah.. whole body ache and hot.. like burning loh.. -.- mummy kept wake up and see how i feel.. what i should say was that so lucky the next day i recovered and able to help to take care nei nei.. =) she soooooo cute!! hehe..

actually nothing much happened bah.. only this one very major de things.. make me suffer.. now i still suffering from coughing and a bit of sore throat.. haish..

i am a bad ger lah.. i didnt stop myself from eating those food.. and today i still went to seoul garden with rain kuku stella and yvette ah ji and one more.. kuku stella de mummy.. =D nice nice.. but i got to bear the consequences if anything happen to me after tomorrow.. haha.. we even went to TCC for our coffee session.. but none had coffee.. haha.. we all had dont noe what drink.. and the chicken chop and wedges.. wah.. cost a lot neh.. =.- took neoprint too.. =)) today wasnt able to stay out late.. daddy called and asked me to be home early today.. i noe cause he miss me mah.. heex.. =X so i left after yvette ah ji went off.. rain and kuku stella still over there walking around..

dont noe why suddenly i have nothing to blog.. my mind when blank man!! arghz.. i having short term memory once again.. haish.. sadded..

nevermind forget about my stupidness.. post some cute little pictures of my cutie princess.. she is soooo adorable lah.. presenting lovely nei nei.. =D

see how lovely she smile..

her bones is definitely soft.. see how she is able to eat her legs you will noe le.. =)

i guess that all bah for today.. really dont noe what to write le.. imagine.. first time i am stuck lah.. writing this for 2hours!!! gosh.. crazy me man.. =S too long never blog le.. that why.. -.= haha wouldnt be like this le when tomorrow come ar.. haha..

i miss my darling xiezhi!!

i miss kuku family!!

i miss xinyi and eileen!!

i miss my bed and my lovely pooh!!

i miss EVERYTHING!!

PS: yvette ah ji said bring me go club when she have the mood to go.. yippee!! kuku stella also going.. yeah!! rain yao bu yao go too?? haha.. XD

someone told me dont go club cause it is bad for me.. but that person hao xiang last time keep going de loh.. =.= but nevermind.. still feeling so bless that the person actually said that.. =D feeling contented!! =D

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princess sotong
forever young 18
5th september
virgo/dragon
cedar pri -> admiralty pri -> riverside sec -> ngee ann poly -> wheelock singapore

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Youre My Angel - Loretta Chow