Thursday, April 19, 2007
today we were nearly late for classes cause we missed the bus.. =.= both 184 and 75!! haha.. nevermind but in the end we still got to school in time at 8am sharp.. my day is long for today.. i had all the lectures and time is passing through very slowly.. =.- lecturers are all talking in a very slow pace and causing me falling asleep.. i had to endure through my days.. i had different kind of lectures.. got financial management.. FP2.1 tutorial.. Maths for young children.. academic writing.. wah all seems so difficult.. i going through POA once again for FM.. FP2.1 tutorial i got so high.. i got back to my previous centre.. which means i still get to see all my small little darlings.. haha.. so happy to see them again.. it seems like i might be the only one going back to the same centre.. but i a little bit worry about those lessons that i need to carry out.. hmm.. nevermind i must make it through.. =) maths lecturer release us early and in total i got 4hours de break.. =.= but we had fun.. we went lunch with bridget that gang.. haha.. AW seems so difficult to study.. all those english thingy.. arrr.. i dont like.. but got to learn..
my feelings are so mixed up.. i dont even noe what i am doing.. i am having insomnia every night.. i dont noe why.. ever since the school started my sleep time are all so stupid.. i became sleepy during lesson even i sleep early.. why is this so.. i finding myself a bit crazy le lah.. haish.. it has been nearly a week.. my blog are getting more and more "haish" why am i sighing so much.. i actually stopped sighing very long ago.. but it is now coming back.. =( i deserve a slap on my face to wake me up.. i need to wake up.. i am falling down to a deep hole.. i need to be pull back..
recently i have been saying i have a jealousy heart.. many people are asking why i think that way.. so i disclosed it now.. hmm actually i realise my heart is always feeling very sour which means i get jealous easily.. kinda stupid right?? there are many many things i will get jealous.. frenz make me jealous.. seeing people happily in a relationship make me jealous too.. stupid right?? i am just a stupid ger.. i always thought my close frenz are all close to me and they are mine.. i cant afford to share my frenz.. i feel very insecure.. i dont understand it.. i dont always rely on my frenz but they really make a deep impact in me.. i want them close.. but soon i realised i am just too selfish.. i cant always have them with me.. there are time they got to be with their pals too.. i might treat them close but they might have even closer frenz.. i cannot want them to be by my side for 24hours.. i have to learn.. i always tell myself i got part of them with me jiu good le.. i cannot be so selfish.. i have to really learn.. each person has their own things to do.. in life many things change.. i lost my closeness with my secondary school frenz.. i also lost my closeness with my kuku family.. everytime i couldnt make time ut just for them.. so i dont have any right to get jealous if they went out without me.. who to blame always and only ME.. i am the one to be blame.. i cant adjust my time.. i cant make my time out.. i am always busy with lot of things.. xinyi and eileen have been dating me out since holiday but i dont have time for them.. in the end i blame them for not dating me.. what am i turning into.. i lost the self in me.. my life is always turning from bad to worse.. i never have wonderful life but i do have wonderful memories.. i will never forget those memories i got.. i slowly telling myself to accept the very fact that i cant possible keep someone close to me for long.. there are time where i have to let go and allow the one to continue it journey.. i have to learn to let go of things easily and kind.. i told myself to allow others have their own time.. got a small portion of closeness jiu hao le.. yvonne is a strong ger.. she can survive without relying on her frenz.. her frenz will also support her..
i got what i want.. the assurance that i should have.. i got my sweet assurance from xinyi yesterday saying that she wouldnt bear to throw me aside.. today also got assurance from eileen that she also wouldnt dump me aside cause we are besties.. sweet assurance from rain too.. she made me drop my tears.. she said i am her zui teng de xiao mei and some words from her really make me feel so sweet.. she said "wo bu gan bao zheng wo yi ting zou de dao , bu guo zi yao zai wo de neng li fang wei , wo yi ding hui" isnt that sweet?? aww~ i lurv the 3 of them.. they made me feel lurv.. even though i dont have anyone to dote on me.. i still have them.. their sweetness made me feel touch and always make me tears.. i really really lurv them!! *hug hug*
my feelings are so mixed up.. i dont even noe what i am doing.. i am having insomnia every night.. i dont noe why.. ever since the school started my sleep time are all so stupid.. i became sleepy during lesson even i sleep early.. why is this so.. i finding myself a bit crazy le lah.. haish.. it has been nearly a week.. my blog are getting more and more "haish" why am i sighing so much.. i actually stopped sighing very long ago.. but it is now coming back.. =( i deserve a slap on my face to wake me up.. i need to wake up.. i am falling down to a deep hole.. i need to be pull back..
recently i have been saying i have a jealousy heart.. many people are asking why i think that way.. so i disclosed it now.. hmm actually i realise my heart is always feeling very sour which means i get jealous easily.. kinda stupid right?? there are many many things i will get jealous.. frenz make me jealous.. seeing people happily in a relationship make me jealous too.. stupid right?? i am just a stupid ger.. i always thought my close frenz are all close to me and they are mine.. i cant afford to share my frenz.. i feel very insecure.. i dont understand it.. i dont always rely on my frenz but they really make a deep impact in me.. i want them close.. but soon i realised i am just too selfish.. i cant always have them with me.. there are time they got to be with their pals too.. i might treat them close but they might have even closer frenz.. i cannot want them to be by my side for 24hours.. i have to learn.. i always tell myself i got part of them with me jiu good le.. i cannot be so selfish.. i have to really learn.. each person has their own things to do.. in life many things change.. i lost my closeness with my secondary school frenz.. i also lost my closeness with my kuku family.. everytime i couldnt make time ut just for them.. so i dont have any right to get jealous if they went out without me.. who to blame always and only ME.. i am the one to be blame.. i cant adjust my time.. i cant make my time out.. i am always busy with lot of things.. xinyi and eileen have been dating me out since holiday but i dont have time for them.. in the end i blame them for not dating me.. what am i turning into.. i lost the self in me.. my life is always turning from bad to worse.. i never have wonderful life but i do have wonderful memories.. i will never forget those memories i got.. i slowly telling myself to accept the very fact that i cant possible keep someone close to me for long.. there are time where i have to let go and allow the one to continue it journey.. i have to learn to let go of things easily and kind.. i told myself to allow others have their own time.. got a small portion of closeness jiu hao le.. yvonne is a strong ger.. she can survive without relying on her frenz.. her frenz will also support her..
i got what i want.. the assurance that i should have.. i got my sweet assurance from xinyi yesterday saying that she wouldnt bear to throw me aside.. today also got assurance from eileen that she also wouldnt dump me aside cause we are besties.. sweet assurance from rain too.. she made me drop my tears.. she said i am her zui teng de xiao mei and some words from her really make me feel so sweet.. she said "wo bu gan bao zheng wo yi ting zou de dao , bu guo zi yao zai wo de neng li fang wei , wo yi ding hui" isnt that sweet?? aww~ i lurv the 3 of them.. they made me feel lurv.. even though i dont have anyone to dote on me.. i still have them.. their sweetness made me feel touch and always make me tears.. i really really lurv them!! *hug hug*
we leave a mark @ 7:55 PM.
