wondering deeply inside my little soul but i just couldnt noe what actually i am thinking.. i have a sudden of heartache and i am feel low.. not noe-ing what i actually want next.. could it because those little talk that we had during the chalet?? i dont even noe the answer.. once again i feel the deep hurt inside and not noe-ing where i am heading to.. someone will be there to guide me along.. but i wonder who is that person.. someone i lurv?? trust?? or hate?? no one noes i guess..
i have been trying very hardto try and recalled something.. and out of which i remembered part of it.. it was a weird dreamz that i had yesterday.. i dreamt that me daddy mummy and didi were on a shopping trip.. it was so nan de the whole family went out together.. i was feeling happy.. out of the sudden polices were running towards a direction.. daddy went along while asking me mummy and didi to go to the other side.. i didnt want to but daddy insisted.. went to the fourth floor of the building and looked down saw daddy together with some policemen.. was feeling worried for daddy.. one guy was behaving madly.. he was targeting at another who tried to stop him.. out of the sudden he just grabbed hold onto a policewoman and as a police you would think that he/she would definitely have the strength to stop the person but who noes it was the opposite.. the man hold on to the policewoman arms and threw her down from his back.. the policewoman head hit the floor and she went unconscious.. the hit was damn big which impat on a huge sound of "bomb".. kinda scary.. another guy went to stop him and he had the same ending.. daddy was the next on line trying to stop him.. teas dropped down from my eyes and i was shouting "daddy daddy dont please dont".. daddy was approaching closely.. and i woke up suddenly.. i got a shock.. i thought it was real.. my heart was beating faster and faster.. i was so relieved that i woke up.. thank god!! if not i cant imagine what the dreamz will continue.. afterwhich i couldnt fall asleep.. and it was only 4plus in the morning.. i sit on my bed not noe-ing what to do.. stare at my cupboard blankly..
why on earth do i have this weird dreamz?? i feel scare.. could it be because of the ghostly stories that i heard during the chalet?? i have no ideas.. i dont want all this dreamz.. i just want a peaceful sleep to clear my mind.. but it just dont give me.. my sleep have been disturb everyday.. yesterday i really couldnt sleep.. i was getting awake almost every 2 hours.. this is crazy.. haish.. not noe-ing wha actually is happening.. haish.. i hate it i hate it..
haixx.. new semester is coming.. and things are going to be different.. i going to be year 2.. i guess problems between frenz will come back again.. many things happened during the holiday.. i doesnt want to open my eyes to see what will go on when school start.. why cant everything just stay as usual?? i am scare.. i dont want to noe what will happen.. i just want to remain like this.. last semester was a disaster.. i dont wish it to be happening again.. i suddenly dont feel like going school.. i dont noe why.. why do i dislike school out of the sudden?? i am feeling worry.. why am i so worry.. i dont noe.. haish.. growing up isnt a good thing afterall.. i want to remain like this forever.. but i doubt it will.. i still find secondary school enjoyable.. i miss secondary school life.. i miss!!! could it be turn back once more time?? sobx sobx.. i am tearing while thinking.. i dont like this at all.. i feel scare!!! =((
we leave a mark @ 9:28 PM.