Sunday, April 29, 2007
today i am going to write a early post.. haha.. nothing really much to do.. gaming all day long.. feeling so sianz.. yesterday i slept early.. haha.. actually i wanted to wait for xinyi to come back online de but there was really nothing for me to do.. so i went offline.. lie on my bed thinking and thinking until i fall asleep.. crazy ar.. haha..
today woke up early neh.. 10plus jiu wake up le.. then i watched huan zhu ge ge 3.. indeed it was very touching.. i cried when i saw ziwei crying so bitterly when she knew that erkang was dead.. but it was just a lie made by the mian dian gong zhu.. how can she broke up two so loving couples.. gosh.. but anyway it was just a show.. not in reality.. haha.. so dont need bother much about it.. heex.. after watching show i come online le.. wah everyday same routine.. wonder when will i be able to change the routine neh.. haish.. feeling quite sianz liao.. =((
ah forget it.. nothing seems to be correct for me this few days.. but i must said that on friday i really enjoyed.. that was the only day of the week i was happy.. other than that nah dont have.. quite sad ar.. changed the blogskin too.. and it was kinda emo commented by the rest.. but i lurv it ar.. i like emo emo.. haha.. cause i am a emo ger.. who cares.. nobody bothers also.. hoho.. life never been so emotic until this few days hit on me.. arghz.. dont noe should i be happy or sad sia.. hmm.. leave everything at the place it should be bah.. maybe i should really get over it soon bah..
just as i thought that everything will be fine.. some other things came rushing and hit my weak heart.. which leads to me crying again.. i tears again when looking out of the windows.. i dont noe why.. maybe i really get too affected by things recently bah.. well fine i admit i do become some sort of crybaby recently.. my tears just drop so freely.. maybe they noe my eyes have dust so help me clean off.. haha.. what a joke kays!! i am worry i am scare.. will things ever get back the same like what happened recently?? i told rain she said i shouldnt be that selfish to keep everything by my side.. things wouldnt change just that time together will get lesser.. ya right.. i am getting a bit too selfish.. but i am too attach to it.. i depends a lot on it.. now telling me to let it go.. i cant bear.. i really cant bear.. ya true people step in and out of your life.. and things will always be changing.. i cant possible have one thing with me the whole life.. eventually it will be gone and i have to start finding new one.. maybe the deep cut by someone make me feel the hurt and pain.. that why now i feel so scare and worry.. what am i scare actually.. to be left alone?? anyway i am alone what so why do i bother.. ah fine.. forget it.. "chuan dao qiao tou zhi ran zhi" am i right?? ha..
i dont have the security in me once again.. i am losing it very quickly.. i dont gain security at all.. what should i do man.. haish..
problems came crashing in my life.. i was being shot.. it nearly kill me.. how i wish i can have a little happiness.. but it doesnt always come true.. i have lost.. i have lost to the battle.. i didnt noe that losing a battle will make me sooo sad and dont noe what to do.. ahhh.. i think i need a break.. a good long break.. but school just started.. *sigh* do i really deserve all this?? haish.. family is another factor that kill me.. everytime will hear complaining.. i finally noe a person shouldnt marry too early and to be tight down by a family.. my cousin is just an example for me.. what if one day his family really break.. then how will my 2 beloved nephews become?? it will definitely hurt them.. i noe they are young.. but they noe what is going on.. cant life be just simple and plain?? why always have all this things happening de.. ah fine fine.. i am hit by all this nonsense.. no one can believe that a ger who always seem to be smiling having all this kind of torture.. life is not going to be life anymore.. just burden.. sometimes i really feeling like forgeting everything.. getting some sort of shi yi zheng.. but i couldnt unless i have heavy blow on my back brain.. ha.. then i will be in coma.. ah.. rubbish..
ah forget it.. and nah my life shouldnt really be like this.. maybe i am wrong.. maybe things are not going to be as bad as what i think.. maybe i am a bless ger.. there will be people out there to guide me and be with me.. i shouldnt think so much.. my life is actually good.. i got many people around me who cares.. so i shouldnt think so much.. i am a good ger.. life will be easier one day..
today woke up early neh.. 10plus jiu wake up le.. then i watched huan zhu ge ge 3.. indeed it was very touching.. i cried when i saw ziwei crying so bitterly when she knew that erkang was dead.. but it was just a lie made by the mian dian gong zhu.. how can she broke up two so loving couples.. gosh.. but anyway it was just a show.. not in reality.. haha.. so dont need bother much about it.. heex.. after watching show i come online le.. wah everyday same routine.. wonder when will i be able to change the routine neh.. haish.. feeling quite sianz liao.. =((
ah forget it.. nothing seems to be correct for me this few days.. but i must said that on friday i really enjoyed.. that was the only day of the week i was happy.. other than that nah dont have.. quite sad ar.. changed the blogskin too.. and it was kinda emo commented by the rest.. but i lurv it ar.. i like emo emo.. haha.. cause i am a emo ger.. who cares.. nobody bothers also.. hoho.. life never been so emotic until this few days hit on me.. arghz.. dont noe should i be happy or sad sia.. hmm.. leave everything at the place it should be bah.. maybe i should really get over it soon bah..
just as i thought that everything will be fine.. some other things came rushing and hit my weak heart.. which leads to me crying again.. i tears again when looking out of the windows.. i dont noe why.. maybe i really get too affected by things recently bah.. well fine i admit i do become some sort of crybaby recently.. my tears just drop so freely.. maybe they noe my eyes have dust so help me clean off.. haha.. what a joke kays!! i am worry i am scare.. will things ever get back the same like what happened recently?? i told rain she said i shouldnt be that selfish to keep everything by my side.. things wouldnt change just that time together will get lesser.. ya right.. i am getting a bit too selfish.. but i am too attach to it.. i depends a lot on it.. now telling me to let it go.. i cant bear.. i really cant bear.. ya true people step in and out of your life.. and things will always be changing.. i cant possible have one thing with me the whole life.. eventually it will be gone and i have to start finding new one.. maybe the deep cut by someone make me feel the hurt and pain.. that why now i feel so scare and worry.. what am i scare actually.. to be left alone?? anyway i am alone what so why do i bother.. ah fine.. forget it.. "chuan dao qiao tou zhi ran zhi" am i right?? ha..
i dont have the security in me once again.. i am losing it very quickly.. i dont gain security at all.. what should i do man.. haish..
problems came crashing in my life.. i was being shot.. it nearly kill me.. how i wish i can have a little happiness.. but it doesnt always come true.. i have lost.. i have lost to the battle.. i didnt noe that losing a battle will make me sooo sad and dont noe what to do.. ahhh.. i think i need a break.. a good long break.. but school just started.. *sigh* do i really deserve all this?? haish.. family is another factor that kill me.. everytime will hear complaining.. i finally noe a person shouldnt marry too early and to be tight down by a family.. my cousin is just an example for me.. what if one day his family really break.. then how will my 2 beloved nephews become?? it will definitely hurt them.. i noe they are young.. but they noe what is going on.. cant life be just simple and plain?? why always have all this things happening de.. ah fine fine.. i am hit by all this nonsense.. no one can believe that a ger who always seem to be smiling having all this kind of torture.. life is not going to be life anymore.. just burden.. sometimes i really feeling like forgeting everything.. getting some sort of shi yi zheng.. but i couldnt unless i have heavy blow on my back brain.. ha.. then i will be in coma.. ah.. rubbish..
ah forget it.. and nah my life shouldnt really be like this.. maybe i am wrong.. maybe things are not going to be as bad as what i think.. maybe i am a bless ger.. there will be people out there to guide me and be with me.. i shouldnt think so much.. my life is actually good.. i got many people around me who cares.. so i shouldnt think so much.. i am a good ger.. life will be easier one day..
crying are good arent they??
we leave a mark @ 7:58 PM.
