yup.. honest speaking.. i think whatever i studied never really get into my mind.. i was wandering away with many other thoughts.. it somehow just come to me and make me wonder and think.. but i must still praise myself for sitting in front of the table reading my CHN notes.. *claps*
another 2 more days i will be sitting at the examination room doing my paper.. will i pass with the grades i always want?? or will i fail so badly which lead to me quitting the course?? no one knows the answer except for one special one and that is the god.. =)) looking back.. i realised i didnt really study hard.. someone actually came telling me i had to study hard in order to pass my year 1.. but i let him down.. i didnt study real hard like what i did during "O" level time.. i admit i am having no interest in studying anymore.. my mind just wonder off as and when it likes.. i told myself that i need to focus until everything finish.. but i just cant.. okay fine.. i had to admit again i was addicted to 7pm and 9pm de channel 8 show.. so 2 hours gone when i watched tv.. hoho.. come to think.. i choose this course myself.. but why am i behaving in this way?? gosh.. it seems like nothing really attract my attention now.. could it be what happened in the past lead me to behave this way?? who knows..
my mind have been thinking.. why does lurv always hurt a person?? people alway say when u are in lurv.. u will be so so xing fu.. but this doesnt happen at all.. people also say being lurv by someone is much more xing fu then u lurv someone.. but this is not the case at all..when a person lurv u but u dun find any lurv to him.. as a result.. both of u are not together and thus it lead to hurting someone.. so this is what it called xing fu?? why do people always say give that person a chance.. but how can u give someone a chance when u dun have the feeling towards the person?? okay if put it in another way.. u gave the person a chance and both of u are so called happily together.. one day.. u realise u dun actually lurv him.. u are together with him cause the whole world is asking u to give him a chance.. so u did.. then he also realised that u dun lurv him at all.. how will the person feels?? this is definitely hurting.. this feeling is unbearable.. it is like a knife stabbing u right thru your heart and the next moment.. u are dead.. this is not the ending to a relationship.. somehow i think it is unfair.. so to conclude.. whatever a person do.. must really think before u act.. never leave a person hoping anything.. also most importantly.. never give a person some feeling that u might accept that person later in life.. things have to be harsh and u have to make sure everything is settle before moving on.. so this is what others call.. LIFE..
i have been asking myself this question.. do u still lurv him?? the answer is always not there.. i have been escaping whenever i came to this question.. i dun wish to know the true answer to it.. maybe should be yes and maybe should be no.. no one really know the answer even myself.. just scold me for being dumb.. time flew and i am still stuck in this.. gosh.. pull me out!!
*not going to believe it again*
we leave a mark @ 12:10 AM.