Thursday, November 30, 2006
i dunno wat is going on today.. everything dun seems to be true to me.. and i feel damn hurt inside.. why am i killin myself wit all this trouble which is none of my prob at all?? i cant say tat it is none of my prob.. cos tis concern each and everyone of us.. wat lie between us is something which we are capable of..
everyone seems to change ever since sch reopen.. why is tat so?? the fun and joy we had in the past dun seems to come back to us.. i wish i nv did anything which agitate lao tian ye.. and den he give me all the "rewards" i deserve.. do i really deserve all tis?? do i?? this is a very stupid qn to ask.. and it seems like if i dun ask everything wun be back to normal as wat i wan it to be..
on the way home after havin dinner with xinyi.. i think alot.. and i nearly cry when i am in the bus.. but i hold back.. holding back my tears is a gao nan du for me sia.. my heart seems to hurt alot and i keep asking myself wat i do now is it correct.. do i really hav to think tat way?? seein everyone leaving and together again is pain for me.. PAIN!!!! i dun wan all tis feel.. i hen nan shou.. i dunno who to approach.. now i wish i suffer from brain damage and i will be able to forget everything..
if one day i suay suay die out of the sudden.. will my frenz be upset?? will they think back wat they did to me?? will my family miss me?? will my family realise tat they shouldnt jus care abt my bro and not me?? i hav alot of qn to tis.. but i dun seems to kn whether i will get the ans i wan.. our life is plan properly for us once we are born into tis world.. everything is rite in front for us.. we cant change anything.. i feel tired.. i hope i can sleep and sleep and sleep.. wake up only after 100yrs.. whereby everyone is gone except for me..
i worry i cant take it anymore.. i am going to burst into tears once again.. tears!!! tears!!! i hate tears.. but i cant help it.. tis is all destinated for me.. i feel damn hurt inside.. lurv and friendship.. wat is going on inside me?? i dun even kn.. i need a shoulder to lie on.. a firm shoulder who can support me when i fall.. where is my firm and strong shoulder?? where?? lookin and lookin... but i fail to look..
xiezhi and renfu coming.. but i dun hav any feelin to go and see them.. told rain.. she say smth.. shocking!! but not cos of tat den no feel.. i jus dun hav the mood now.. maybe i will when date is nearer ba..
我希望时间能够停留在以前！我希望我们能回到从前那样。可以讲话，玩和很多很多！！现在的我只会劈开彼此！我不要！！
everyone seems to change ever since sch reopen.. why is tat so?? the fun and joy we had in the past dun seems to come back to us.. i wish i nv did anything which agitate lao tian ye.. and den he give me all the "rewards" i deserve.. do i really deserve all tis?? do i?? this is a very stupid qn to ask.. and it seems like if i dun ask everything wun be back to normal as wat i wan it to be..
on the way home after havin dinner with xinyi.. i think alot.. and i nearly cry when i am in the bus.. but i hold back.. holding back my tears is a gao nan du for me sia.. my heart seems to hurt alot and i keep asking myself wat i do now is it correct.. do i really hav to think tat way?? seein everyone leaving and together again is pain for me.. PAIN!!!! i dun wan all tis feel.. i hen nan shou.. i dunno who to approach.. now i wish i suffer from brain damage and i will be able to forget everything..
if one day i suay suay die out of the sudden.. will my frenz be upset?? will they think back wat they did to me?? will my family miss me?? will my family realise tat they shouldnt jus care abt my bro and not me?? i hav alot of qn to tis.. but i dun seems to kn whether i will get the ans i wan.. our life is plan properly for us once we are born into tis world.. everything is rite in front for us.. we cant change anything.. i feel tired.. i hope i can sleep and sleep and sleep.. wake up only after 100yrs.. whereby everyone is gone except for me..
i worry i cant take it anymore.. i am going to burst into tears once again.. tears!!! tears!!! i hate tears.. but i cant help it.. tis is all destinated for me.. i feel damn hurt inside.. lurv and friendship.. wat is going on inside me?? i dun even kn.. i need a shoulder to lie on.. a firm shoulder who can support me when i fall.. where is my firm and strong shoulder?? where?? lookin and lookin... but i fail to look..
xiezhi and renfu coming.. but i dun hav any feelin to go and see them.. told rain.. she say smth.. shocking!! but not cos of tat den no feel.. i jus dun hav the mood now.. maybe i will when date is nearer ba..
我希望时间能够停留在以前！我希望我们能回到从前那样。可以讲话，玩和很多很多！！现在的我只会劈开彼此！我不要！！
we leave a mark @ 10:09 PM.
