yup.. ytd nv blog.. cos cos.. later den say.. let say wat i do in the morning.. woke up at 9.30am oh.. cos meeting jazz they all at cwp at 11am.. so tat why.. call daddy ask him no need to buy my breakfast as i going out soo.. and in the end.. he ask me to hang the clothes.. eee.. mummy not ard den all i do.. stupid.. den hang lo.. end up late to meet jazz they all lo.. jazz call and say we are still waitin for u all.. den i tot there was still others who is late la.. so i slowly crawl up to outside delifrance.. haha.. den i realise i am the last one la.. lolx.. den after tat went to buy movie tix to watch the show the prestige.. hmm.. wat should i say abt tis show lei.. ok lo.. not as nice as i tot it will be.. cos abit quite borin la.. nearly fall aslp.. k la i kn i bad la.. den so damn cold sia.. cathay cwp oso like tat de.. damn damn cold.. haiyo.. den after movie we still decidin where to eat.. den someone msg ting ar.. askin wan eat seoul garden ma.. askin her to bring along her frenz.. den we zen zha hen jiu den decide to eat lo.. den gary and jazz treat us with $100!! den end up we dun even need to pay anything.. jus nice.. lolx.. THANK TO JAZZ AND GARY WOR!!! den he told ting he will be comin ard 5pm.. end up.. he only reach at 6plus and we alrdy stay in seoul garden for damn long la.. so ard 7plus we decide to leave lo.. hmm... ya.. ting went over to say goodbye to him and his frenz and we went home..
everything seems so pleasant before i went home.. reach home take a bath and come online.. thinking tat wah.. must finish seeing my show ar.. but i din.. i online and my hotmail was so called flooded.. and i notice one mail which dun seems usual.. i open it and read it.. after reading..my heart hurt and it seems like smth piercin thru your heart.. i told ting abt it.. and ting ask me am i ok.. i reply.. ok ar.. nth ar.. but mins later.. i was not ok.. i told rain abt it and even send her the mail.. she told me alot of things.. and den.. i wan to be strong.. but i jus cant.. i told ting i am not strong and den tears come rolling down my cheek.. i cried.. ting called.. she talk to me for an hr.. but nth go into my brain.. i jus keep crying.. ting was so worry tat i might do smth foolish.. ya.. smth foolish happen when i talk wit him.. weeling and jazz were added to our conversation wit ting cos ting cant do anything wit me.. rain told to me thru msn too.. but wat they say oso nv get into me.. and i am damn depress.. i talk to him.. telling him how much i really like him and telling him i am not tat brave like he tot so.. everything jus seems dun make sense when i talk to him.. my mood was nv good.. and dennis come to me oso.. he chat wit me.. i told him.. and i even ask for foolish request.. i told him to be my stead and he was shock.. but den i realise i am only lookin for someone to replace him inside my heart.. i told dennis sorry and oso sorry for my foolish and selfish demand.. dennis understand and say it is alrite.. but he say he is hurt by me.. SORRY.. i am makin alot of ppl sad.. even ting is sad wit me.. but i dunno wat to do.. watever ting tell me i nv listen and told her i dun wan everything.. telling her i jus wan to disappear and even say i dun wan go sch tml.. she was worry abt me.. she nearly cried i kn.. ting i kn.. den weeling came to me too.. she told me dun be foolish to cry over him.. cos it is not worth it.. jazz told me alot too.. den dennis ask me to call him and i did.. he was shock.. cos i always so reluctant to call him and askin him to call me instead.. we chat over the fone for nearly 2hrs.. he told me alot of things too.. den during the talk.. i made my decision.. i decide not to wait anymore.. cos i asked him.. if i continue waiting.. do i still hav a chance.. he reply.. no.. and i nearly breakdown again.. i told ting weeling and jazz abt it.. and they say no point waiting for him le.. so i jue ding to bu deng le.. i told him.. ya i will get over it de.. and hope we still can be frenz.. and anything oso can share wit me.. he reply an okay.. fine.. so now.. i am back to my ownself without anything.. but there is a prob now.. i dun hav the courage to see him again.. tis is a scar in me.. it hav actually leave a very deep scar in me.. how am i going to face him?? i am not brave.. tis is wat i scare most.. and tis is the reason why i nv tell him i like him last time.. wat am i going to do?? things happen to sudden.. ytd i was sad.. why he din say no chance to me on tat day i confessed itself.. he bring me up and den throw me str down into a deep blue sea.. tis feelin hurt.. will he ever care abt how u actually feel?? arghz.. 4mths.. 4mths and now everything jus hav to be gone.. weeling told me to think abt his bad pt and soon he will be out of my mind.. and she even say he is not worth it.. pray hard tat i still hav the courage to really see him and be frenz.. i once told ting i dun ever wan to see him again cos he will only remind me those things tat happen.. but i really wish to be frenz wit him.. haish.. slowly.. i am startin a new life.. it takes time to heal a wound.. so let it be.. believe in myself tat wat i can say!!! THANK all those who are wit me ytd and esp ting who listen to me.. i lurv u all..
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