Wednesday, August 02, 2006
haiz.. kinda like being bother by a lot of things today.. i realise i hav actually become a very stupid ppl and i think i am drifting far apart from all my frenz le.. sometimes i am really very tired.. i dunno why.. i cant sleep early and i dun feel like sleepin.. my mind is full of nonsense and i cant think well.. i dunno wat i doing is rite or wrong.. i jus feel tat i need a long time break.. i dun wan to be bother by all tis things again and again.. i wan to be alone.. i wan to.. but i am afraid to be alone.. i dunno why.. i am jus too scare.. life isnt easy after enterin poly and esp now when u realise u are in lurv wit someone who might not be acceptin u.. haiz.. wat should i ever do?? arghz.. i hate myself.. i really hate.. i am not wat i am in the past and i guess all this lead to alot of things.. arghz.. why why?? haiz.. why ppl like to see u suffer?? why?? ppl can make u very very high.. but who kn.. they jus drop u down like tat.. why are they doing tis?? i dun understand.. haiz..
actually morning was ok and everything fine.. esp when saw him.. he is on his way to u guess canteen 2 ba.. wit his frenz den i smile at him and he smile back too.. ya tat alrite.. but ***** jus say smth.. he is not lookin at u... oh gosh.. ***** say smth which really really hurt me.. i was totally in blank tat time and dunno wat to say.. i jus reply her he got.. he got smile to me and he always look on the floor when he walk.. ***** gives me a very funny look.. i was totally depress but wat can i do?? i cant say tat ya he is not looking at me and i am smilin to myself.. ok forget it.. at least i got see him.. ya and sokleng and cindy were keep making me sad cos they were sayin "i saw your ....... lei.. he today quite shuai neh.." all sort of things jus to make me envy them lo.. and sokleng saying he was walking beside her.. add on to my envyness.. arghz.. suan le.. guess heaven dun allow us to meet ba.. there it come again.. in the evenin.. staying back to do our project.. more hurtin things come and gosh.. my mind isnt working after hearin all those things.. and i am really hurt.. i nv joke much.. although i talk to them but deep inside hurt alot.. arghz.. feelin isnt good and everything was not in the rite track for me tat moment.. haiz.. and i have decided.. i wun talk to him during msn le.. only occassionally i will talk.. if not.. i guess maybe i REALLY did disturb him ba.. since they said tat he might say something which is different from wat u think.. so i have make up my mind.. pls dun support me anymore.. i think i should jus add normal le.. things is not going to be RITE to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
another damn sad thing is mummy say dun let me rebond my hair!!! wat the hell.. she promise say aug can rebond and i have decided to go rebond on 14 aug cos since i am still in msia after seein 56.. but she jus spoilt my plan.. arghz.. pig her.. and she oso say dun wan open bdae party le.. my god!!! she is really being so unfair lo.. my bro have been havin his bdae party for the past 2 yrs.. and i nv lo.. arghz.. hate her sia.. must ask daddy to make for me.. cos daddy sure listen to me de.. i dun care.. i wan!!!!!!! i wan rebond my ugly hair and have bdae party!!!!
happy thing: xiao jiu mu today come back from japan le.. hehe.. so fast.. i wonder wat she buy for me neh.. cos i cant wait to see those things she buy and those pics she took over there.. ah ma, xiao jiu and cousins and mummy have went over to airport to fetch her.. her plane wil arrive at 12.04am.. haha.. damn late neh..
actually morning was ok and everything fine.. esp when saw him.. he is on his way to u guess canteen 2 ba.. wit his frenz den i smile at him and he smile back too.. ya tat alrite.. but ***** jus say smth.. he is not lookin at u... oh gosh.. ***** say smth which really really hurt me.. i was totally in blank tat time and dunno wat to say.. i jus reply her he got.. he got smile to me and he always look on the floor when he walk.. ***** gives me a very funny look.. i was totally depress but wat can i do?? i cant say tat ya he is not looking at me and i am smilin to myself.. ok forget it.. at least i got see him.. ya and sokleng and cindy were keep making me sad cos they were sayin "i saw your ....... lei.. he today quite shuai neh.." all sort of things jus to make me envy them lo.. and sokleng saying he was walking beside her.. add on to my envyness.. arghz.. suan le.. guess heaven dun allow us to meet ba.. there it come again.. in the evenin.. staying back to do our project.. more hurtin things come and gosh.. my mind isnt working after hearin all those things.. and i am really hurt.. i nv joke much.. although i talk to them but deep inside hurt alot.. arghz.. feelin isnt good and everything was not in the rite track for me tat moment.. haiz.. and i have decided.. i wun talk to him during msn le.. only occassionally i will talk.. if not.. i guess maybe i REALLY did disturb him ba.. since they said tat he might say something which is different from wat u think.. so i have make up my mind.. pls dun support me anymore.. i think i should jus add normal le.. things is not going to be RITE to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
another damn sad thing is mummy say dun let me rebond my hair!!! wat the hell.. she promise say aug can rebond and i have decided to go rebond on 14 aug cos since i am still in msia after seein 56.. but she jus spoilt my plan.. arghz.. pig her.. and she oso say dun wan open bdae party le.. my god!!! she is really being so unfair lo.. my bro have been havin his bdae party for the past 2 yrs.. and i nv lo.. arghz.. hate her sia.. must ask daddy to make for me.. cos daddy sure listen to me de.. i dun care.. i wan!!!!!!! i wan rebond my ugly hair and have bdae party!!!!
happy thing: xiao jiu mu today come back from japan le.. hehe.. so fast.. i wonder wat she buy for me neh.. cos i cant wait to see those things she buy and those pics she took over there.. ah ma, xiao jiu and cousins and mummy have went over to airport to fetch her.. her plane wil arrive at 12.04am.. haha.. damn late neh..
we leave a mark @ 10:30 PM.
